IT'S CALLED FANFICTION!
by The Stupendous Jimbo
Summary: STOP CRITICIZING MY STORY, IT'S CALLED FANFICTION! IF I WANTED YOUR HONEST OPINION I WOULD HAVE ASKED FOR IT AS OPPOSED TO SAYING NO FLAMES! I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK NOW REVIEW ME AND SAY NICE THINGS TO ME!


**IT'S CALLED FANFICTION!**

**A Tragedy portrayed in 6 acts.**

**Act 1: The obnoxious nitpicky critic.**

Alright, I'll just be straight up with ya: I couldn't think of anything better. I mean I wanted this epic introduction, but what do I write? A battle? No, it's so overdone and my choreography skills suck! So let's just start the scene with ummm hmmm…Jiggly and Pokemon Trainer sitting on the couch in the umm…Smash Lounge…? Yeah, that'll work! So they were sitting together, completely bored out of their minds, when Jiggly asked in interesting question.

"Yo Red," He asked,

_Jigglypuff's a female…_

…And how do you know this?

_Don't ask…_

…Riiight, well then, SHE asked him a most peculiar question. "Why are you here?"

"Huh?"

"Why are you here, in this lounge?"

"Because I want to watch TV."

"No, I mean you're not an actual fighter,"

"Well neither is Mr. Resetti…"

"But Mr. Resetti isn't a playable character, he's an assist trophy…But you are playable, yet you don't do anything."

"Of course I do lots of things!"

The Pokemon Trainer appeared to be taken off guard by this pokemon's sudden accusation of uselessness.

"So what do you do?" SHE asked.

"Well, I dig into my pockets, pull out a pokeball, throw it, and then when the Pokemon of my choice come out, I cheer them on…" He yawned and reached into his pocket to pull out a small orb. "Watch,"

He threw it and a small mouse Pokemon appeared out of the ball. "Pichu!" Jigglypuff scoffed. "But that's it! The pokemon do most of the fighting, you do nothing!"

"That is _far_ from the truth, I command them, and through my strategic tactics, they fight their way to victory!"

"No they don't, the player controls them, you don't give them orders. You're just lazy!"

Pokemon Trainer stood up. "Am not!" He shouted. Suddenly he felt out of breath and felt the need to sit down. "Hey Pichu…Go get me a Soda…"

"Pichu!"

As the mouse pokemon scuttled away, The trainer looked over at the pink Marshmallow pokemon. "See, I help..."

"…You just told your Pichu to grab you a soda…"

"Well yeah, because I'm thirsty. And if I'm thirsty, my voice goes hoarse, and if my voice is hoarse I won't be able to cheer the pokemon on when they're in combat…"

Jigglypuff turned red. "God you're so lazy!"

Suddenly the Pokemon Trainer's stomach growled as he looked at his stomach. "Man I'm hungry." He dug into his pockets and pulled out a pokeball and threw it. Suddenly a red lizard appeared. "Charmander!" It cried out.

"Hey Charmander, I'm hungry, go get me some food…"

That was the final straw for the little pink balloon Pokemon. "Okay that's it! Now you're just being outright horrible!"

The Trainer stared cross-eyed at Jigglypuff and made a sudden thought. "Oh look, a marshmallow…Hey Charmander, set that talking marshmallow on fire so it'll shut up. Then I want you to get some graham crackers and make me some smores…Yeah, I could totally go for that…"

The Jigglypuff would normally get offended at this point but at the moment SHE's being turned into a marshmallow…Yeah, how do ya like that, you pompous little critic?

_Okay that is totally benign! Everybody in that scene is so out of character it's absolutely insane! What the hell is your problem!_

Hey shut up, it's called fanfiction! I can write what I want!

_And what about canon?_

Canon? Seriously? In a Nintendo fighting game, you're demanding canon…Do you have any idea how boring that would be? I mean look at the Subspace Emissary, that's as canon as it gets!

_Yeah well your sense of humor is completely uncalled for! The characters are so out of whack that you have Pokemon Trainer turning Jigglypuff into a marshmallow._

Well that's why it's called fanfiction!

_Also Jigglypuff can't speak, with the exception of Mewtwo and a select few Pokemon can only say their names! Jeez haven't you played the games?_

Dude, does it really freaking matter?

_Yes, because everybody knows that a Pokemon is supposed to be used not for slavery, but for-_

OH MY FREAKING GOD SHUT THE HELL UP! IT'S CALLED FANFICTION!

_I still don't like it…_

FINE I'LL WRITE SOMETHING ELSE!

**Act 2: The writer who uses fanfiction as an excuse.**

Okay so like, the Smashers were going to Highschool right? BTW, this story is AMAZING! I MEAN TOTALLY ORIGINAL! Right, well Marth, the absolute most _gorgeous _looking guy in school was walking through the hallways, until he noticed something that was just not right! Zelda, his GF at the time, was making out with his best friend, Ike! OMG!

"Ike, WTF?" Marth screamed. "That's my gurl you're making out with!"

Ike looked up at Marth. He was wearing a Leather Coat, baggy jeans, and his hair was geled back. Why, because that whole armor thing for such a drop dead gorgeous guy like him is sooooo out of style! LOL! Well, he looked at his ex best friend and said "Hey she came on to me, it's not my fault she thinks you're a total loser!"

Then suddenly, because I looooove stereotyping, Mr. Game and Watch jumped in the scene and shouted "Oh he did NOT just do that!"

"Oh yeah he did!" Zelda screamed as she snapped her fingers in the air…Hey, I haven't been in highschool in 3 years dude, it's been a long time so gimme a break, here!

"Awwww hail no!" Mr. Game and Watch screamed, "Dude, Marth, you should totally whoop his ass for that! And when you do, I'll go up to my homie and I'd be like, dude did you just see the fight? And he'd be like, nah man, what happened? And I'd be all like, dude Marth and Ike just got in a fight and Marth totally whooped his ass! And my homie would be all like, dude really? And I'd be like, totally, and he'd be like, oh my God that is totally epic, what happened, and I'd be all like, Ike totally took his girl and Marth beat him up for it, why weren't you there? And he'd be all like, sorry man, I wasn't here today because I was too busy getting stoned, and I'd be all like, dude you totally missed it, Marth whooped his ass, and he'd be like, I didn't know Marth could fight, and I'd be like, why do you say that? And he'd be like, because last I heard gay people couldn't fight, and we'd both be all like, OHHHHHHHHH and jump around like black people do when we think things is funny!"

_Oh my God what the hell is your problem?_

What?

_A high school fic, really?_

It's called fanfiction!

_Dude, Mr. Game and Watch doesn't act like that, and your story is horrible, Marth would never do that to Ike!_

IT'S CALLED FANFICTION! I CAN WRITE WHATEVER THE HELL I WANT TO WRITE!

_Ike doesn't wear a leather coat and he's not like that! Ike is a calm, caring character, you portrayed him as the complete opposite of who he really is!_

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP IT'S CALLED FANFICTION! LEAVE ME ALOOOOONNNEEEEE!

_Hey I'm just giving you honest feedback._

I DON'T WANT YOUR FEEDBACK! IT'S CALLED FANFICTION AND YOU'RE JUST A TOTAL LOOSER AND YOU HAVE NO LIFE!

…_It's spelt loser…Loser…_

SHUT UP! BTW This is where the Ice Climbers show up. And for the record, they're not OC, they're…IC…GET IT?

And then everybody in the fucking story laughed…Really…Fucking…Hard…

**Act 3: The first time writer…**

Okay guys, this is my first fic, pretty awesome huh? Well just as the summary suggests, NO FLAMES! IF YOU FLAME ME I'LL SICK MY TOTALLY AWESOME AND SOOO MUCH COOLER THAN YOU OC ON YOU AND YOU'LL TOTALLY REGRET ME SICKING MY TOTALLY AWESOME AND SOOOO MUCH COOLER OC THAN YOU ON YOU!

...You know what; let's skip this act, too easy, just wayyy too easy…

**Act 4: The guy who takes this wayyy too seriously…**

STOP CRITICIZING MY GOD DAMNED STORY! I PUT ALL MY EFFORT INTO IT AND YOU JUST GO OFF AND CRITICIZE IT AS IF I PUT NO EFFORT INTO IT! WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE YOU ASS? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LONG IT TOOK TO WRITE ALL OF THIS?

…_2 hours…?_

….So help me God if we ever meet in real life…So help me God…

_Look, it's not that bad, I was just offering some criticism. I mean the writing is brilliant, only a few grammar errors here and there and-_

OH THERE YOU GO AGAIN! CRITICIZING ME AS IF YOU'RE A BETTER WRITER THAN I AM! WHAT MAKES YOUR STORY SO MUCH BETTER THAN MINE? UNLIKE YOU I PUT EFFORT IN MY WRITING AND I COME UP WITH ACTUAL ORIGINAL STUFF!

…_You asked the audience to submit their own characters to clash in a fighting tournament…_

EVERYBODY KNOWS THERE'S NOTHING MORE ORIGINAL THAN THAT! I PUT DEPTH INTO THEIR CHARACTERS!

_You specifically warned the audience if they don't submit the most elaborate of details about their characters, they won't make it into the tournament. You even demanded three different taunts._

HAVE YOU PLAYED THE GAME! THERE ARE THREE TAUNTS FOR EVERY CHARACTER! SO IT MAKES SENSE THAT I WANT THE AUDIENCE'S OC'S TO HAVE THREE TAUNTS!

…_Their OC submissions were more detailed than the story descriptions…And for the record the Ice Climbers are IC, not OC_

And then everybody in the fucking story laughed…Really…Fucking…Hard…

_Also you spelt Olimar with a D in front of it, making it out to be "Dolimal", and not just once, like multiple times. Yeah…wait…No, literally, every time. You seriously did this every single time. And how come the OC's are more descriptive than the story itself?_

Oh that's because they put effort into their OCs, you know, so I won't have to. Pretty clever, huh?

…_Facepalm…_

Oh psh, you're only jealous cause I have more reviews than you!

…_So help me God if we meet in real life…So help me God…_

**Act 5: The original story.**

The flowers chime in the soft breeze. The day is cloudy, but dry. The skies threaten to rain, but even the rain would dare not disturb the tranquility. It is depressing, yet mildly soothing. Though the sky is grey, I am still relaxed. Calm, at peace, serene, it is the tone of the day which brings me solace. I knew from the day he told me his feelings that I knew what I must do. I must wait for him. The clouds burst open as the heavens descend. The storm now brewing announced its grand acquisition through means of the clapping thunder. Now realizing the threat, I jump up, preparing to run, but a great whisper echoes to me. "What if he shows?" Yes…What if he shows? I had promised him that I will wait, and even though this storm will shred me to bits, I must hold my promise…For him…No matter how great this storm, there is no greater power than that of love. I will not yield to this storm; I will sit through it, and wait for him! The Gods roared at my defiance, the raging winds pick up as the burning sensation of debris tear at the fabric of clothing like a whimsical twig. The storm demands my back to turn, but I am determined to confront the force of nature. Suddenly as the lightning clashes down upon me, everything goes black. My eyes slowly open; I see a tint of blue. "Zelda, are you alright?" The voice, I recognize it. It's him! "M…Marth…Is that you?"

"Are you crazy? I didn't you seek shelter?" He was angry at me, but I was only relieved to be in his arms.

"I…Promised…I would wait for you..." At that moment my voice was too weakened to express my excitement, but it was all over. The storm had passed, he was here, and I knew I could finally fall asleep in his arms. He has finally returned, I feel his warmth as he carries me to a hospital. It was a foolish thing of me to stand alone waiting, but I knew he would return. It was over, the flowers chine in the soft breeze. The day is cloudy, but dry. The skies threaten me yet again, but even the Gods would dare not disturb the tranquility. I am relaxed yet again. Calm, at peace, serene, it is the tone of the day which brings me solace. This time, no storm will ever tear at me ever again.

The End.

So what do you guys think?

_Three days pass…No reviews…._

Huh?

_[FF Review Alert] Story: Echoes of Passion._

Oh boy, finally! A Review!

Original Author,

A new review/comment has been submitted to your story.

Story: Echoes Of Passion  
Chapter: 1. Chapter 1

From: emmy ()

This story rocks. Marth is so awesome! P.S: I did not read your story…

…GAHHHHHHHHHH GOD DAMMIT!

**Act 6: The conclusion.**

The moral of the story: IT'S CALLED FANFICTION! STOP CRITICIZING MY STORY! IF I WANTED TO LISTEN TO YOUR HONEST OPINION I WOULD HAVE ASKED, BUT NOBODY ASKED YOU! SO WHAT IF I MISSPELL A WORD OR TWO OR IF THERE WAS A GRAMMAR ERROR OR IF THE WRITING IS THAT BAD, I HAVE A WRITE TO EXPRESS MY FREEDOM OF SPEECH AND I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR FREEDOM OF SPEECH BECAUSE IN AMERICA IF MY OPINION IS DISUADED BY A LOGICAL ARGUMENT I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO TYPE THIS MESSAGE IN CAPS LOCK!

Remember kids: Caps lock is cruise control for cool. But even when using cruise control, one must still know how to steer. Have a great day!

P.S: Ice Climbers are not OC, they're IC… And then everybody in the fucking story laughed…Really…Fucking…Hard…


End file.
